Do vagina's smell?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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