How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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