the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
