So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
