it wasn't lemon gatorade
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize