i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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