Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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