It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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