He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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