she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I looked at my own cervix.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
