I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
