It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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