So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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