She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
