we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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