You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
