I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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