Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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