It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
