I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
