I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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