sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
