I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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