She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
