I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
