You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
