I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
