Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
