Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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