I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
