:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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