You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
