i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
