what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
