So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
