So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
