I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
