he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize