True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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