just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
