where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
