ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
