He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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