I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
