I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
