I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
