Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize