bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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