Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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