Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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