i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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