Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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