Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
