similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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