Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
