she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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