but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
