We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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