I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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