please come you make the beer taste better
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize