My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
