I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
